I Think I Love My Wife is the Worst Movie of All-Time

Sometimes I see movies and like them...sometimes I see movies and I love them...and then there are the others. The ones I don't like at all. Moving past the ones I don't like at all there is a select group that makes me boarerline angry to watch. The best example of such a travesty and waste of time, effort, money, and my life is I Think I Love My Wife. This is a very original pile of garbage in the way that I could tell 5 minutes into the movie it was going to be terrible, and somehow, as the movie went on it just got worse and worse.

Now  before I continue I should point out that this isn't a common occurance for me. I was considering writing a top 10 worst movies hub, and then decided that I would really only have a ton to say about 5 movies or so and then would just list 5 other bad ones. Although maybe I will write it...we'll see. Anyway, I'm trying to point out the fact that not every movie is terrible, most are quite enjoyable, in fact there is even a hybrid of terrible movie that is also fun to watch because it is so mockable. However, I return to my original message: I Think Love My Wife made me feel like I've been raped by a movie.

Chris Rock does what he usually does in his movies, walks around in some irrelevent plot and fits a standup routine into a supposedly normal life. That was fine in some of his others, I wouldn't say they're good, but not I Think I Love My Wife bad. My favorite of his movies is probably Down To Earth but to be fair it's mostly because of Chazz palminteri and Eugene Levi. The difference with I Think I Love My Wife is his jokes aren't funny. It's as if he didn't reherse or run them by anyone, he just improvised and had an off-day.

His wife, and his love interest are both blantently obvious characters and the plot is rediculously predictable.

But the saddest thing is the man himself, Steve Buscemi, is in the movie and I remember when I first saw him saying out loud "Why Steve Why?" Why would a man with such an awesome career and ability do this to himself and his fans. I thought a minute when i saw him though...maybe he can single handedly save the movie! Turns out, that he was only a minor character and was helpless against the tornado of crap flying towards him.

So just when it looks like this crappy Chris Rock movie that was trying to be indepth and deep couldn't get any worse, the last 10 minutes happened. I don't think there is a worse 10 minutes of cinema than the last 10 minutes of this movie. Although this doesn't happen anywhere else in the movie, Chrsi Rock and his wife break into song describing their feelings towards each other in a moment of truth and reality. It was like having a brain hemmorrage and eating ice cream to fast at the same time. Then when I almost walked out of the movie theater, (that's right I paid to see it, I thought it would be mockable, but I was devestatingly wrong) the last second happened. I need a new paragraph for this.

The last second of the movie had "Fin" appear on the screen. This if you don't know, is common place amongst the deepest, independent films. The ones where things like mimes frowning and wagging their finger at Santa Claus and slow motion footage of a ball bouncing on a child's face would be expected. However, this is a Chris Rock movie, the epitome of shallow, and this was the final straw. 

I don't usually do this, even if a movie is really bad I still suggest people see it, because my opinion isn't everything, but this is almost physically painful to watch. Don't do it, you will definitly regret it.